I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
