I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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