dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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