how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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