Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
