Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
