He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
