I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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