we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I pour the whiskey from now on
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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