some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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