all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Randomize