Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
