well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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