wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I deserve this hangover.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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