S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize