I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
