that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
