I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
