I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
