38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize