i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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