New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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