I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Less talking, more tequila
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize