Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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