I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize