I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
