This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
