i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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