we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
