Pappa wants mamma naked
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize