I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
