If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
