Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
