turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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