You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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