This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
