she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
