For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
