We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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