you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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