I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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