Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
