I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
