She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
