The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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