Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i think my cat just said my name.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
