summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
