i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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