I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I love you. Go after that dick
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