By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Shame - the story of my life.
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