Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
