She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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