its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
