I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize