she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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