he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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