My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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