This girl is more easily done than said...
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
