you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
